A MASSACRE A DAY KEEPS THE POTENTIAL BUYERS AWAY!! A look at Netflix’s new Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Let’s start with some facts about this film, beginning with the ‘Nots’. Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) is NOT a great movie. It is not a remake of the original nor is it an authentic “sequel to the original” as producer/co-writer Fede Alvarez states. Okay, now with those pressing matters out of the way, we can discuss the film appropriately. 

So, the plot goes something like this: Young ‘entrepreneurs’ Melody and Dante have purchased some rundown real estate in the town of Harlow Texas in hopes of restoration and revenue. With Dante’s girlfriend Ruth and Melody’s sister Lila joining their excursion, they go about inspecting one of the homes where they learn an elderly woman named Ginny still lives and, has zero intentions of vacating it any time soon. She claims she is the actual owner of the residence which causes an argument and Ginny to have a heart attack. Ginny is (in fact) the mother of the one and only Leatherface, who then proceeds to embark on a rage-fuelled reign of homicidal terror. In the interim, a group of investors have arrived by bus, just to add to the mix and grow the inevitable body count tally. 

To be fair, most people are not watching a movie titled Texas Chainsaw Massacre for its eloquently scripted storyline. You watch a film like this because you want and expect hardcore carnage! The movie does not disappoint in this department. The kills are impressive. They’re gory and extreme. And, to adhere faithfully to the franchise’s branding, there is a pretty impressive massacre involving a “bus-load” of annoying hipsters which should satiate any bloodthirsty fiend’s desires. There’s a tonne of screaming, chasing and several moments of the typical Hicksville uneasiness that have become synonymous with the cluster. But sadly, it isn’t enough to redeem what is really altogether an unremarkable effort. 

Calling this a sequel is somewhat of a stretch, so, to enable this labelling, they bring back the one surviving character from the 1974 original; Sally Hardesty. Sally is now a ranger and has been searching for her tormentors for all the passing years unsuccessfully, apparently. Until now that is. When Sally learns of the attacks she comes to the aid of the rapidly dwindling group and, of course, seeks vengeance. The problem with her return is that it feels more like an afterthought than a pivotal storyline. And that issue is extended far beyond Sally’s role in the movie. There just is not enough substance. 

The visual components of the film are the real redemptions. The spanning landscape is shot beautifully and the isolation and bleakness of the environment are laid out with a nostalgic transcendence. The film’s ending is very much a jolt that will undoubtedly leave a very unpleasant taste in the mouths of viewers and fans alike. 

Overall, I think if you are looking for a mindless and gory departure from the average drone of your daily curriculum then give Texas Chainsaw Massacre a once over. Otherwise, don’t be too disappointed if you forget to add to your watchlist.